One of the newest enigmas of the dating world, the concept of “hook-up culture”, or a subculture of people within the dating realm whose sole purpose is to hook-up or have relations, is a fairly new phenomenon. Not that the actual act of hooking up is new, however, the mindset in which this behavior is normal and acceptable certainly is. Either way, hookups at college and other environments that are ripe with developing young adults, is all but commonplace at this point. Nevertheless, they certainly do not replace the conventional committed relationship? For those who think monogamous relationships are overrated conventions of the past, keep reading.
Hookups and Relationships
First and foremost, for the purpose of this article, we need to distinguish the difference between hookups and relationships. On the one hand, although hookups are supposedly just sex, there are many people who also do other activities with their hookup. Movie dates, shopping, having deep conversations, etc. can all be a part of a hookup relationship. Nevertheless, none of the latter is to be expected or guaranteed. In addition to that, those who are in hookup situations can also hook up with others without warning or notice. On the flip side, a committed relationship is grounded in the fact that two people are coming together to become one cohesive entity. Of course, people can still get cheated on and it’s perfectly possible to be in a completely unfulfilling relationship. However, ideally, those in committed relationships cater to each others needs and work to make each other happy and better people over time.
The Difference
In short, the main difference between hooking up and being in a committed relationship is the sense of love, devotion, and security. Given that you can do everything you do in a committed relationship, with your hookup (up to, and including having children!), in the case of a hookup situation, this person is likely just interested in having fun. Committed relationships deal with looking into the future and trying to build a life together while hooking up may be fun and satisfy some needs, but in the end, you are just two individuals out to please yourselves rather than each other.
The Bottom Line
Hookup culture is here to stay. Despite the huge gray area that exists in terms of hookups that function as relationships and vice versa, consciously choosing a hookup as opposed to a long-term relationship means to focus on instant gratification rather than longevity. Ultimately, hookups at college and other such places make perfect sense when we take into account that many college students are still finding themselves as well as what they want in a relationship. Not necessarily negative, engaging in hookups allows us to explore and learn more about ourselves as well as what we want from our partners, before settling down.
